Today, after a long hard shift in the office, I had to struggle home on foot.

It wasn’t easy.  Leaning into the wind, one hand held up against the lashing rain, I had to force myself onwards one step at a time.

It was an epic journey, filled with action and adventure, and I faced it all with the anger of the gods raging against me.  According to my phone, the temperature plummeted to an almost arctic 8°C, while the heavens were said to be “partly cloudy with showers”.

I’m not sure I would have survived at all, if not for the birthday boots and big coat I’d garbed myself in.

Yet, somehow, I did survive.  And as I heaved open the door to our home with shivering hands, it almost felt worth it… for I was greeted by the luscious, mouth-watering scent of a succulent roast dinner.

Heaven, I thought.

Until a second later, when I realised Jen was still in work and the house was cold, dark, and empty.  My stomach cramped up in pain and confusion.  There was no food!  I was merely smelling the lingering scent of yesterday’s hearty meal.

That’s when I knew the truth.  That my nose is nothing but a mischievous swine who cannot be trusted.

…and that I would have to survive on nothing but Rich Tea biscuits until Jen got home and saved me.



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